" If we really loved ourselves, we would not hurt each other." Buda
One of the most fashionable terms in our time is probably "to love yourself." What is it that loves self? And why is it so important? When we enter social media, we are confronted with people who claim to love themselves. But when we look into the world, we see that the number of people who really love themselves is in the minority. As Buddha said, if we really loved ourselves, we would not hurt each other. However, the world is full of people who constantly hurt each other, harming nature and animals. Can the world claim that we really love ourselves in this situation?
Most people think of narcissism as love for themselves. I am here to talk about loving ourselves in a healthy way without exaggerating our own. Trying to keep yourself in the best possible way, looking at yourself as if you look at a baby … There are activities that are good for our body, our soul. Healthy self love is to be your best friend. A person who really loves himself is aware of his own worth. Such a person is far away from the relationships he or she deserves. Again, those who love themselves accept themselves with weaknesses and strengths, do not strive themselves for their weaknesses, and try to develop them if possible. The high level of self-love allows the person to be positively influenced in the social environment, comfortable and self-accepting (Rogers, 1961). On the other hand, people with low self-esteem tend to see themselves as small and unworthy, and are inadequate in social settings (Blatt & Zuroff, 1992).
We do not express ourselves that we love ourselves, but with our actions. I mean only " I love myself very much " to say that we do not show our love to ourselves. How much do you like yourself? You can answer these questions to know how much you love yourself. To love oneself in a real way, has taken care of itself. What are you doing for your physical, mental and mental well-being? For example, do you pass the annual health check? Are you well fed? Do you do sports? Do you have any hobbies? What are the activities you did to feed your soul? How do your friends group consist of people? How are your friends' attitudes towards you? If we are people who are not very good at themselves, our group of friends will be made up of people who mirror our behavior. As we begin to love ourselves unconditionally, we will either want to take our friends out of our lives or this kind of friends will improve their behavior towards you. How come you behave yourself? How do you talk to yourself during the day? Are you connected to some conditions you like yourself? For example, do you lose ten pounds or earn more money and you will love yourself more? I am sorry if you love yourselves and are connected to external causes but you do not like yourself so much.
What can we do to love ourselves more and take better care of ourselves?
1. Forgive yourself
Yes it is hard to forgive. And the most difficult kind of forgiveness is to forgive ourselves. The literature on forgiveness is generally directed to forgive others. Research on self-reliance has only begun in recent years. But forgiveness is a very important act and I think that a beautiful life has a very important effect in our life. Of course, if we made a mistake or if we broke someone's heart, I would not forget it the next day and let our life continue. But if we have not forgiven ourselves for years because of an event, it may prevent us from fully loving ourselves. Besides, we may not have had a good life because we have forgiven ourselves. According to researches done, forgiving oneself harms our body and our soul. Forgiveness has positive effects. A study conducted in 2014 found that self-forgiveness was a positive effect in the healing of eating disorders (Sun Lee, Hye & Min Kim, Jung. If you also need to forgive yourself, come do yourself a favor from now on, forgive yourself completely. Remember, we can not bring back the past. So we do not have a chance to correct the mistakes we made in the past. However, we have the chance to take lessons from them and not repeat the same mistakes again.